These crewe members are ready to set sail, whether you need pirate entertainers in the Pacific Northwest or anywhere in the United States or the world. Like most adventurers, our crewe comes from all over the world and can join up to create an event for you that is simply amazing!

Want to join our crewe? Click here!


Our Fearless Leaders

Hurricane - Pirate Performer

Hurricane
Captain
Tenor Guitar, Banjo and Lead Vocalist in Knot for Sail

The son of a handsome sea captain and homely native girl, Hurricane was born on the exotic isle of Bora Bora. He is all at sea when it comes to things nautical. When on land, Hurricane could at one time be a Cat 5 of Emotional Wreckage and Human Debris; a real tempest when crossed. But these days he's more of a windbag. He is a lover of wine, woman and song – in any combination. He serves as Captain of The Blackheart, a brigantine hailing from Port Royal, Jamaica. He served briefly under Admiral Henry Morgan and served as his stunt double at the battles of Portobello and Panama.

SEE HIM AS LEGENDARY SIR HENRY MORGAN



Krimson Kat
Crewe's Director
Vocalist in Knot for Sail

Swathed in seaweed, Krimson Kat was discovered by a Greek fisherman in a Catalina Island catacomb who raised her as his own. Conceived in a tryst between a merchant marine and a beguiling mermaid while he was on shore leave, she learned the Catechism from some island Catholic nuns at the Catalina Cathedral, at one time considering joining the holy order. But the sisters proved a bit too catty for her tastes. Seeking a life of adventure, she signed aboard The Blackheart after falling in love with its Captain. Aboard ship, she is charged with whipping the crewe into shape with her cat o’ nine, keeping them from taking catnaps, using the surgeon’s catguts to play Cat’s Cradle, baiting stray cats, and caterwauling about the cook’s Catfish Catsup Surprise.

 



Avast part of The Blackheart crewe...


Animal
Master at Arms
6-String Guitarist in Knot for Sail

Crazed by the tepid heat of the tropics, Animal was found adrift in a little dinghy off the coast of Cayman. After drinking The Blackheart dry of its supply of fine and not so fine rums, he became lucid once again and recounted the unbelievable tale of his marooning and subsequent travails. We all thought him to be a quite jolly lad but a little dingy (not dinghy). So we chained him to the capstan in case he had another bout of the horrors.

 

Water Rat
First Mate Emeritus &
Token Irishman
Baritone Ukulele in Knot for Sail

Hailing from Belfast, Water Rat was pressed into service aboard the The Blackheart after he was captured in a battle with the sloop, Irish Rover. Promoted from chief bilge bailer, Water Rat has worked his way up to first mate and chief musician. A wily rogue of a pirate, his spry wit, boundless puns and musical numbers keep the crewe entertained during the long months at sea. He has been with the crewe for an astonishing 30 years - no one has put up with the Captain that long!!!!

 

Sloe Gin
Timber Shiverer, Minx
Vocalist in Knot for Sail

Hurricane and crewe stumbled upon Sloe Gin in a piano bar deep in the Tropics many years ago. In a seedy hotel bar on the outskirts of Borneo, they found her singing gin and slinging songs. It was obvious that she had been sampling her own stash for some time. Sailors from near and far would come to hear her torchy, sultry songs, she using her beguiling charm, flirtatious demeanor and mastery of the male mind to disarm them of their weapons and money, but not necessarily at the same time. Always leaving men wanting more, she is the reason sailors to this day say "Well, shiver me timbers."

Jaws
Rabble-rouser

Every crewe needs a pot stirrer and the Captain is often occupied with other matters aboard ship. No matter. Jaws can handle all the rabble-rousing required to keep the crewe on their toes. Yes, there are times when we run seriously short of rabble to rouse, but Jaws always seems to find a new supply. In addition to her rousing rabble duties, she serves as the crewe's liaison, planning and plotting to make us world famous. We are barely locally famous right now, so she still has a lot of work ahead of her. Don't even ask how she became Jaws. Really, don't ask as we don't really know.

 

Punkey
Colors Coordinator

We all know there comes a point in any battle when we must swap out the nation's flag we are flying and show our true colors. That is Punkey's job. Being the only halfway responsible one on board as she doesn't regularly dip into the rum stores or down a little too much ale at the boarding house, the crewe decided she should be the one who swaps our colors, lowering the French, English or Spanish flag in favor of our own piratical colors, which we have a definite fancy for. None of the rest of us can keep track of what's going up and what's going down, dare we say, being a bit color blind. But not Punkey. She assures us that our flag is in all its black and white glory, though there has been a stray hostage or two who have claimed that it looks far more purple than black. We think they've just got a case of the Horrors, stricken and sickened by too much saltwater in their rations.

 

Lollypop
Arghtender

Congas in Knot for Sail

Lollypop has sailed far and wide with The Blackheart crewe for as long as anyone can remember, from Boston and Key West to fighting the fierce gales of the Yakima Sea. He is quite the jovial mate, always quick with a hearty drink for the crew and a smile. He is famed for his creation of Rumaritas and for his ability to keep time with the band, something no one else with rhythm has ever managed to do. He is also a well respected talk show host, especially when no one is awake to watch him, a bon vivant and somehing of a gadabout. We'd like to say that he takes a lickin', but we simply don't want to go there.

         

Lickety Split
Nevergator
Mandolin/Vocalist in Knot for Sail

If you wonder how Lickety Split got his name, take him in tow once in awhile. You'll soon find him off, hither, thither and yon, continually distracted by his surroundings and often getting him and us lost in the process. We regularly send search parties out to find him who never return, largely because they're either having more fun with him than us or they found a karaoke bar nearby. Sounds like a flip of the coin - heads or tails. He was once our Navigator, but we never got anywhere, hence his new found role as Ship's Nevergator.

 

 

 

Ugly
Amourer

No, it's not a typo. It's so easy to be a fighter when you're a pirate, but occasionally a little lovin' gets you farther faster. That's when we get a little Ugly 'round here, turning him loose to loosen up the townsfolk, namely the women. Once properly distracted by his beguiling charm as the Ship's Amour, we hightail it to the local counting houses to make a little unscheduled withdrawal. In the meantime, Ugly will have made love not war with the women folk, breaking their hearts while we make a break for it.

 

Stingray
Hard Aground'er

Gentleman pirate and a gentleman to boot, Stingray prefers to charm, negotiate, manipulate or intimidate rather than go straight to a fight. As the illegitimate son of King Orange of Wales, he was not to inherit the crown and at a tender age he was instead sold into servitude aboard a galleon as a cabin boy. It was there that he spent his youth upon the sea, learning of the world. But when his mates went ashore it was all about the women (a trait inherited from dad along with his taste for the finer things in life). That was his life until he was taken by our ship and allowed to sign on with the crewe. He quickly worked his way up in the ranks. Currently, Stingray is charged with disabling the rudder chains of ships we seize, and that's how he got his name, swimming under water for long periods to do the duty. His lineage gave him the moniker Prince of the Pirates, but we all think he is a prince among men.


Trubble
Mischief Maker

Before taking to the sea, Trubble began life on the family farm. Faced with the great Potato Famine which had absolutely no appeal to her (think, think), she fled Ireland, heading to Glasgow to sign aboard ship. Being a girl, she had to disguise herself, fooling the rum soaked crewe into believing she was just a young, clean shaven lad. She took a job as cabin boy, serving under several captains. She was readily dismissed several times, the captains finding her, uh, him, a bit troublesome. It was Stingray who brought her to the service of The Blackheart, He was in the midst of correcting a steering problem with one of our prizes when he happened upon a knife-wielding lass fixing for a fight to save her ship. He disarmed her with a single kiss and she joined us most willingly, not only because Stingray was part of the crewe, but because we had guns aboard, which she loves to fire, even without the captains permission, often in the dead of night.

 

 

Heartie
Bar & Gruel Manager

It's been years since we've had anything decent to eat aboard The Blackheart. Heartie has solved this. An enterprising lass, she took over the brig, which was only lightly used and barely bloody, since we prefer to toss the rabble overboard instead of keeping them around. In its place, Heartie created our own little dining establishment. Ordinarily you'd think reservations would be hard to get to such an exclusive spot, but there are plenty of reservations about the food served at the Blackheart Bar & Gruel. We would never dream of complaining, largely because behind the brig is the wine cellar, and the only way to get a decent drink is to order the food and leave nothing on our plate. Grueling, positively grueling!

 

Blackheart
Plugger Upper

Facing a life sentence of cleaning up after the infamous Governor of Potti, Polynesia, the vile Pepé Le Pew, Blackheart anxiously signed aboard our ship while we were in port. It took us some time to explain that we didn't name The Blackheart after him, nor did we have any plumbing aboard. He was happy to find that the Spanish ships did, and it's Blackheart's job to stealthily board the Spanish gold ships and render them inoperable in a plumbing sort of way. In no time at all, the Spanish start throwing themselves willingly into the sea, succumbing to an unexpected stinkpot attack, courtesy of Blackheart's plugger-upper skills and the frijoles refritos graciously served to them in the Blackheart Bar & Gruel the night before.

Criss Cross
Ship's Lure

Let's be honest, not a single member of the crewe knows how to hunt or catch fish. Thankfully, we have our own ship's lure aboard, Criss Cross, Sadly, the crewe is still starving, for her bait only seems to work its magic on landlubbers who fall for her, hook, line and sinker. It's never hard to find where she has gone ashore, for the path is lined with cross-eyed men who had the good fortune to cast their eyes upon her gleaming eyes, sharp wit and ample, god-given treasure amidships. She is the only member of the crewe with a real sailing vessel, and rumor has it she actually owns it. What a novel concept!

 

 

Lighthouse
Navigational Beacon

Lighthouse washed ashore on the beaches of Key West and the Pyrates knew instantly that her skills in navigation would prove invaluable to them. Born to an East Connecticut family of dubious means, she has coursed her way through much of the known world, as well as some parts yet to be discovered. She is a bon vivant by birth and a pirate by osmosis. Her ability to lead the crewe home after a long night at sea has become legendary. Bu-doop! Bu-doop! Lighthouse!

 

Dreamboat Annie
Sailing Master

Dreamboat Annie has sailed far and wide in her piratical adventures and has been know to consort with the most nefarious of seafarers in the haunts and back passageways of the port town of Seattle, a small hamlet in the Northwest part of the Americas. Annie is an experienced sailor and has helped guide the often sodden Pyrates crewe out of tight spots, both on land and at sea.

         

Shipwreck
Shipwright

Shipwreck was shanghaied by the Captain while on a midnight stroll in Bristol and pressed aboard The Blackheart. A good thing too, because the crewe’s legendary lack of seamanship has required several incarnations of The Blackheart to be built over the years. After shredding the bottom on a well-known reef and sinking (again!), Shipwreck goes right to work without complaint.When the crewe awakes the next morning, there she is, a brand new brigantine floating in the bay. Amazing what a talented shipwright can do with coconut husks, palm fronds, spackle and a few drink umbrellas.

 

 

Lady Scarlett
Countessa

Lady Scarlett hails from Tortuga. It was there that the crewe of The Blackheart found her, skimming “profits” off the top at a counting house of questionable repute. Appreciating her fine ciphering skills, she was pressed into service aboard ship, largely because most of the crewe couldn’t count beyond 20. She readily took to the sea and to the task at hand, counting doubloons by day and serving as the ship’s dance instructor by night, teaching the crewe how to dance a most lively jig, one that ashore would jostle the coins from the pockets of unsuspecting landlubbers, much to Lady Scarlett’s delight and benefit.

 

Grey Dog
Salvager

His origins unknown but his heart true, Grey Dog offered his services to The Blackheart crewe in Balboa. It took the crewe a time before they understood what a Salvager actually did, given that they weren’t successful at much else besides getting hurt all the time. They mistakenly thought he was a man of medicine, asking him to salve their wounds. One day a prize was inadvertently sunk and he dove over the side, staying under for darned near 15 minutes on a single breath. When he surfaced, he hoisted a huge chest aboard ship, one that was filled with treasure. Who would have guessed all these ships had treasure on them?

 

         

Lookout
Reconnoiterer

When the crewe has no choice but to venture into enemy territory on terra firma, they send Lookout ahead, largely because the whole crewe can be really loud sometimes. Silent and stealthy, she can easily make it past a patrol or guard station without having to slit a single throat, much to her dismay. Using her superior mental mapping skills and uncanny sense of direction, she helps the crewe hatch their diabolical plans for conquest and occasional victory, avoiding as much bloodshed (their own) as possible. She is an eagle eye on land, so don’t try to pull any funny stuff.

 

 

Kitty Litter
Lookout!

The offspring of a beautiful mermaid and a wily sea captain, Kitty Litter was born at sea and raised aboard The Blackheart. The only other home she has ever known is the sea, where she spends a large part of her time, she being without legs from time to time, as many mermaids are. This comes in handy, as she regularly inspects the ship's undersides to ensure they are in good order. She is the only one in the crewe who can hold her breath long enough, outside of one or two mates who tried to best her at a breath holding contest, winning handily, but only because they have yet to surface.

 

 

 

 

         

Wrong Way
Cabin Boy & Heir Apparent

Born upon the high seas aboard The Blackheart, Wrong Way is the offspring of Hurricane. From his earliest moments on Mother Earth, he took to the ways of piratin', learning to wield a rubber knife by the age of six months. His purported first word was "Argh" and he has served aboard the Lady Washington and the Schooner WOLF on multiple tours of duty. He earned his name because of his innate inability to tell port from starboard, fore from aft or leeward from windward, sending us aground on more than one occasion.

 

Bubbles
Ship's Assassin

Watch this one. She will disarm you with that disarming smile of hers, while gutting your gizzards with the knives she "borrowed" from the galley and filleting you handily, right down to the bone. Bubbles is also right handy with anything she has handy, including her ever-present hat pins, which can be turned into steely daggers of doom at any moment should you cross her. Our advice, don't do it. The last lad who gave her a second glance ended up with new piercings, thanks to the hat pins, right in the eyes. We guess you could say he now has piercing eyes. 'Tis a shame they don't make eyerings.

 

 

 

 

On the lam...

       

Red Handed Jill - Pirate EntertainerRed Handed Jill
Sommelier

Red Handed Jill arrived aboard ship with Youngblood, her youthful charge. While ashore, she was known by local constables as a two-bit thief. Not very good at her craft, she was regularly caught .... (finish the sentence with the first two words in her name). While pillaging, we can always find her in the finer shops in port, particularly those known to sell fine and not so fine wines. She actually earned her name because she’s prone to spilling a glass of Port now and then whenever the ship heels to starboard.

 

Youngblood
Ship's Sly Spy

Youngblood is a master of disguise and can slip in and out safely from even the most dangerous situations. He has a command of several languages, including five not currently know to any scholar. He is also fluent in nearly any dialect, although he prefers that of an Englishman. He's so good at what he does we're not even sure where he is from one moment to the next. So watch your backside - you never know when Youngblood will suddenly appear to slit yer gizzards wide open. Argh!

 

 

Bootleg - Professional Pirate EntertainerBootleg
Club Pro

Discovered somewhat dazed, still holding a club over his pock-marked victim, we knew instantly that Bootleg was really on the ball. We immediately seized him and placed him in the service of The Blackheart. It is there that he trains other pirates in the fine arts of effectively using a club while they are engaged in mortal combat in the open field. He is a master of all that he knows and he knows very little (just kidding, there Bootleg - don't want you to "pitch" a fit on deck).

 

 

 

 

 

Sir Nigel
Ship's Artist and Ace of Cads

Periodic Lead Guitarist with Knot for Sail

The eldest son of an English gentleman and a handmaiden, Sir Nigel recently took some time to Sea the World (pun intended). He has served admirably in the "sweet" trade most of his life, notably on the island of Zanzibar, living amongst the Zanzibar. A talented musician and artiste, a lover of dancing and (s)wordplay, a smuggler as well as a snuggler, he has cast his lot with the nefarious band of pirates aboard The Blackheart.

  Cynn - Pirate performer

OryginalCinn
a.k.a Stank Jim

Flogger & Mistress of the Ones

Born the daughter of the Baroness of Sublunaria and a mysterious Spaniard known only as Santiago, OryginalCinn, or Stank Jim as she is known to some, ran away to the Caribbean to chronicle the lives of the pirates with her first choice of weapons, the pen. She quickly found herself pillaging, plundering, rifling and looting with the worst of scoundrels – the crew of The Blackheart - and enjoying every minute! Equally comfortable in the garb of wench or pirate, Cinn is the master of whip, pistol, bow, axe, and sword... but even more deadly are her fingernails.

 

Handsome Rob
Ship's Surgeon

Robert Alexander Greyson, (aka “Handsome Rob”), hails from the Western Coast.  Sailing with the Port Royal Privateers, he utilized his many talents as Helmsman, Navigator and “Saw-Bones”.  It was there he met our own lovely Soleste and took her as his bride.  Now, living somewhere just this side of the Mexican Border, Handsome Rob serves as Ship's Surgeon aboard The Blackheart, often prescribing a liberal dose of medicinals which have been known to lead to sightings of the Green Fairy. One for the crewe, two for the surgeon, one for the crewe, three for the...

   

 

Soleste
Quarters Mistress & Fashionista

Soleste de Claridad-Greyson, the lady love of our own Handsome Rob Greyson hails from the southern shores (well, southern to us) of the Pacific. You may have spied her cavorting with the Rogues Cove, Rum Runners or the Port Royal Privateers in years past while on that distant shore. We press ganged her in Portlando in the Floridas. As Quarters Mistress (not to be confused with quartermistress).  Soleste makes our ship a home with her warmth and ability to turn our eclectic plunder into a stylishly decorated space that would make ol' Morgan envious.  Mentored by Martha the Impossible of Cabletown, Soleste is a jack (Jacqueline) of all trades, master of none, but we love her just the same.

 

Long John
Harpoon Man

Harmonica in Knot for Sail

Accidentally set adrift during a raucous party aboard The Blackheart one night, Long John rounded Cape Horn, traversed the Indian Ocean and then caught the Pacific tides, ending up beached after many years at sea in Alaska. Making the best of things, Long John, continued his pirate ways in the Great White North, subsisting on whale blubber and tundra. After being aboard The Blackheart again, Long John cut a skiff adrift one night... with him in it. We await his return and long for his amazing blue's harp, which allowed the crewe to drift asleep with smile's on their faces, even after weeks of being at sea with neither belly timber or treasure to soothe their rum-soaked minds.

 

The Big Mook
Poop Deck Officer

The Big Mook was aboard The Blackheart for 13 years and we never gave him his just due. We began to take his protests seriously when he saluted the captain one day with a hiked leg. To keep him at happy, we promoted him to Poop Deck Officer. He's was in charge of "bay"-ling out the bilge (Beagle humor), sprayin' down the decks and taking over the storm watch when things get a little ruff. He was one tough old salt and the official mascot of The Blackheart. He passed bravely after those many years and we honor him each year by serving the crewe his leftover biscuits.